Difficult Students Don’t Always Misbehave

I teach mostly online these days, and while I don’t have the normal classroom disruptions that face-to-face teacher confront, I do have instances of difficult students.  This week has reminded me once again of the over-achiever/know it all student.

Don’t get me wrong: I do admire over-achievers, and once upon a time I was one of the students who always did her work, turned it in on time, and even put in the extra effort to get the best grade possible.  However, I never proceeded to criticize a teacher or admonish her for anything she did with her class.  I may have griped behind her back to my friends, but I never confronted her aggressively.  I did questions my grades and comments on my assignments, but never with criticism in my voice (that I know of).

But I am finding more and more the aggressive student – one who feels like it’s okay to call out a teacher publically or with a tone.

What got me riled this week?  This week one of my students caught me on a typo where I used the correct chapter title, but I used an incorrect chapter number.  I certainly made a mistake and it probably stemmed from updating my class from a previous edition of the textbook.  The email was okay, but she also posted that portion on the discussion board – to make it more public (although she posted that without the tone of the email). And then in the same email she proceeded to complain that other students were not turning in quality posts in the discussion board when she put every effort to craft responses that are well written and error free.

How did I handle her?  Carefully.  Seriously, I thanked her for pointing out my mistake and that I would take care of it.  What can I do?  A mistake is a mistake, and it’s better to acknowledge it.  As to her second point about the quality of work form other students, I told her the truth:  I have no control over what students turn in.  I outline the standards that I will hold them to, and I grade students according to the material they turn in.  I also said that she should continue to work hard and submit quality work.

I could have written to her that it is none of her business what other students do, but that would have just escalated the situation.  I could have also said that FERPA prevents me from discussing other students’ grade with her.  There are so many things I could have responded with and did in my own mind, but I didn’t.  I am the instructor of the course, and I am a professional.  I have to temper my responses to the situation and show the student that I am the instructor of the course and certainly in charge of it.

I have had students like her before, and I will continue to have ones like her again.  But my previous experiences have taught me how to handle the aggressive ones that feel empowered to push the boundaries – with restraint and professionalism.

A Site to Make Math Homework Easier

School has begun, and now my children are coming home and needing math homework help.  Although I excelled at math, I have to admit I’m rusty.  The other night, my daughter didn’t believer that all her addition and subtraction of mixed fractions was wrong.  They were, and I knew it, but she made me doubt myself.  Now, I’m a techie.  I teach English online.  I design Web sites.  And I consult for people who have technology problems.  I turned to the Internet, and I began arming myself with sites that would help me get through homework challenges with my kids when it comes to math.  I’ll start with the one that convinced my daughter that I was right, and she was wrong and needed to redo her homework.  She got 100% percent I might add and understood it complete.

Calculator Soup - http://www.calculatorsoup.com/

I love this site because it didn’t just give you the answers.  It showed you the steps to the answer.  Without those steps, my daughter would not have believed me.  Another good feature of this site is that input is easy.  Some math sites, you have to put the problems in such an awkward manner that you confuse a child who is already struggling.  One thing I must say, however, is that it solved the problem different than my daughter had been taught in school, but her teacher was okay with it because she showed her work and could explain the math process behind it.  My daughter used it only for the first two, and then she did the work herself and used the calculator to check her work.

This site is also good for my son’s physics class.  It doesn’t cover every sort of physics problem such as his unit dealing with gravity, but it’s a good starter.  The explanations are clear and uncluttered which really matters to him.  In a future blog, I’ll see about finding a better Physics site for high school.

What type of math does this site cover?

Algebra	Math
Chemistry	Physics
Construction	Statistics
Conversions	Geometry
Discrete Math	Plane Geometry
Finance	Solid Geometry
Fractions	Trigonometry
Games & Sports	Time
Loans	Word Problems

Many of them will not apply to you, but it’s quite comprehensive.

Also, the Math links you to all kinds of math – just about everything your child will come across during elementary, middle and high school.

Tragedy Strikes Our Neighborhood

This has been a really hard week on our neighborhood.  During the Labor Day weekend, one of the neighborhood children died.  It was a parent’s worst nightmare.  The family was enjoying a weekend at a lake when one of the children went missing.  He was found some hours later after a frantic search by family and fire rescue crews.  He had drowned.

Nathan had just begun kindergarten.  He was a charming and handsome little guy.  He was little impulsive and definitely determined to keep up with his older brother.  And his baby sister was equally determined to keep up with both of her older brothers.  They were fun to watch, and we as a community all looked out for each others’ children and enjoyed watching them grow.

Everyone is still reeling from the news, and none of us can imagine what his parents are going through.  At this time, I think they are probably still numb.  They have been fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends.  The hardest part is yet to come when the funeral is over, and they have to find some way to go on for their other two children.

Most of us don’t even have words to describe how we are feeling.  We are not the parent of this little 5 year old boy, yet his sudden death has haunted each of us deeply this week.  We haven’t spoken much with each other, but when we have, we can’t find much to say beyond that we keep thinking about Nathan and his family.  And we can’t stop thinking about him.  About them.

Yesterday, finally there were a few hours when I got so deeply involved in my work that that was all I thought about.  It gave me a little peace because I was able to let go of the sadness for just a little while.  But when I go to my driveway’s end and the bus stop and I stand next to their yard and see all the cars, the sadness just comes rushing back.  I try to block it out, but it just seeps in.

This will leave permanent scars on all of us because we all care.

I look at my children, and there is such a sense of relief that none of the close calls we had when they were little resulted in more than some scary moments and occasional scrapes.  We forget that children are just as impulsive and stubborn as adults but without the experiences and wisdom.  A tragedy can strike in the blink of an eye even with the most diligent of parents.  And one moment can mean the difference between a close call and tragedy.

I hug my children tightly and take a moment to enjoy their warmth and scent.

Katie & Justin are asking that in lieu of flowers, donations be made in Nate's name to Mechanicsville Elementary School - Playground Fund.